The Doodle
We have received your emails. We have seen the Reddit threads. We have heard the whispers at the dog park. The humans are confused, and the internet is demanding answers regarding what has been dubbed "The Great Doodle Identity Crisis."
The Allegations:
- "Why is the Merle dog called Rusty? He looks like cookies & cream."
- "Why is the Golden/Red dog called Oreo? He is the color of rust."
It is a fair question. Visually, we are a walking contradiction. If you follow the strict laws of color-coding, we are walking administrative errors. However, after consulting with our legal team (a Golden Retriever named Kevin who passed the Bar exam), we would like to issue this formal rebuttal:
Defense Exhibit A: The "Vibe" Theory
"I am Rusty (The Bernedoodle). Yes, my coat is Merle. But my soul is rustic. I enjoy the smell of old leather chairs, mahogany, and complaining about the quality of modern squeaky toys. 'Rusty' is not a color; it is a state of mind. It is the name of a dog who sighs loudly when the news is on. Calling me 'Oreo' would undermine my gravitas. I am not a cookie. I am an institution."
Defense Exhibit B: The "Sugar" Logic
"I am Oreo (The Goldendoodle). Am I golden? Yes. Do I look like a rust bucket? Maybe. But here is the truth: I am sweet, I am crumbly, and if you leave a package of Oreos unattended on the counter, I will become the Oreo. I consume the identity. Also, 'Rusty' sounds like a dog who sleeps. I DO NOT SLEEP. I VIBRATE."
The Verdict: We refuse to rebrand. The paperwork is too extensive, and we have already monogrammed the towels. The names stay. Please direct all further inquiries to the squirrel on the back fence; he is our press secretary.