The Doodle
OKAY OKAY OKAY SIT DOWN. Actually don't sit down. Stand up. Or do a zoomie. Whatever feels right. I'm too excited to pick one posture and I need you to match my energy for the next three paragraphs.
WE MADE AN ALBUM.
A real one. Ten songs. With instruments and everything. There is a ska-punk song about a hot dog. There is a BLUES SONG ABOUT KEVIN. There is a lullaby. A LULLABY. Rusty told me we needed a lullaby so the album had ‟emotional range‟ and I said Rusty I have INFINITE emotional range and he said not for album pacing you don't and I said fair, and then we wrote the lullaby together and I cried a little during the playback. Don't tell him.
It's called Pure Canine Chaos because obviously it is, and because Rusty wouldn't let me call it ‟Doodle Cast: The Album: Volume One of Many: A Musical Odyssey: Featuring Kevin (Unwillingly)‟ which I think was pretty reasonable of me and pretty unreasonable of him. He said it wouldn't fit on Spotify. I said Spotify should get bigger then. He said that's not how Spotify works. I said maybe it should be. We went in circles for about an hour. We named it Pure Canine Chaos.
Okay here is what is on it, because I CAN'T WAIT:
- The Doodle Cast — The theme song! With WHISTLING. I love whistling. I can't whistle because I'm a dog but I LOVE IT.
- Nap Time Manifesto — Rusty's song. It's smoky noir jazz about how napping is actually work. He is SO serious about this. It's incredible.
- Street Hot Dogs — My song. My whole entire song. About the time I found a hot dog. IT'S SKA-PUNK. It's two minutes and twenty seconds of me losing my mind and Rusty yelling DROP IT. Chef's kiss. Chef's paws. Chef's whatever we have.
- Kevin the Cat (Nemesis Blues) — A dirty blues song about the couch usurper. It's got a HARMONICA solo. Kevin has not commented. He has not NOT commented either. Classic Kevin move.
- Fire Hydrant Gazette — A 70s FUNK song about our newspaper. Brass section. Wah-wah guitar. ‟Ga-zette!‟ backup vocals. I played it at 2am and the raccoons stopped what they were doing. True story.
- The Bandit's Ballad — BOGART'S SONG. Noir country. Burt Reynolds energy. It's about how he got here. I listened to it and had to go lay down for a minute. In a good way.
- Two Doodles, One Mic — A boom-bap hip-hop song about me and Rusty and the podcast. Rusty has a verse. RUSTY HAS A RAP VERSE. I don't know how to tell you how funny this is to me. It is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me.
- The Squirrel Industrial Complex — Surf rock. About how the squirrels are organized. I have been saying this. I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS. Finally in song form.
- Belly Rub Lullaby — This is the one that got me. It's a bedtime song. For all of you and also for us. The pillow is calling. That's not a lyric, that's just what my pillow is doing right now.
- Pure Canine Chaos — THE FINALE. Stadium-sized. Handclaps. Boot stomps. A brass section. A key change. I sang backup on the big chorus and I did NOT hold back. My neighbors know. Everyone knows.
You can listen to the WHOLE THING right on the site. Scroll up. There's a little orange play button. Press it. You can click any song to jump to it. You can open the lyrics (on a bigger screen) and sing along. You can put on auto-advance and just let it run while you make dinner or wash the car or chase a squirrel — your call. I recommend doing all three at once but I'm told that's ‟a lot‟ and ‟not safe‟. Whatever Rusty.
Rusty wants me to say something professional here. Okay. Ahem. ‟The Doodle Cast is proud to present its debut studio album, Pure Canine Chaos, now streaming on our website.‟ How was that? Rusty? Was that good? He's nodding. He's nodding but slowly. That means it was okay but I could have done better. I'm pretty okay with that.
GO LISTEN. GO LISTEN GO LISTEN GO LISTEN. Come back and tell us which song is your favorite. If you say ‟Kevin the Cat‟ Rusty will silently judge you. If you say ‟Street Hot Dogs‟ I will personally write you a thank-you note in barks.
Good boy. Good girl. Press play.
— Oreo · (and also Rusty, a little bit, grudgingly, from the couch)